You Never Know

The Great De-Clutter of 2017 has made its way to my office.  I avoided this room for some time because it is my neatness nemesis, a “catch all” room.

I’ve got my own personal sweat shop in here complete with multiple sewing machines and all the notions needed to sew anything you could dream of as a Halloween costume.  There is enough loose fabric to clothe a small village.  And beware office intruders as a few straight pins are always lying in wait in the carpet.

Then there is my fiber problem, sheep run from me in fear of shearing.  I have yarn ferreted away in my drawers and closet in copious quantities.  So much so that should I perish and someone find my stash, they would think me a hoarder.  But the special kind of hoarder who covets wool not the kind that lets trash and cat shit pile up.

The office also accumulates a bunch of other miscellaneous stuff.  Stuff that had no where else to go.  While organizing my desk I uncolored the following pile:

 

Yes, those are indeed a packet of wisdom teeth pulled from my head.  (I would have fought back but they drugged me.  At least they had the decency to let me keep the teeth.)  Then a there are a few badges from old jobs, an old passport, a calculator for the hard of math-ing, and a receipt from my book buying habit.

It is pretty much a pile of trash.  These things should probably be shredded and/or unceremoniously tossed in the garbage.  But I just can’t.  I may need them someday if I become a spy posing as a teacher (clearly not a math teacher) hopping from one county to the next to thwart evil.  Or I might have to convince someone I am a member of an undercover, jaw shattering fight club by displaying the teeth of my enemies.  You never know.

My Shame

The Great De-Clutter of 2017 is not off to such a “great” start.  It turns out purging is much harder than I was first led to believe.  Today I tackled the cabinets under the kitchen sink. 

For god’s sake it should have been easy.  We are talking keep the Windex, toss the rusted over can of Pledge kind of easy.  One would think these decisions would have been straight forward.  They weren’t.

I never knew it was possible to spend longer than five minuted pondering the fate of two Brita filters. 

We don’t even use the Brita anymore!  The problem is I want to keep the Brita jug because it makes a good lemonade container in the summer.  So it seems like if I keep the jug I should naturally hold onto those filters.  Even though we don’t use it to filter water, those damn filters were expensive, and since I still have the jug it only makes sense to keep them.  Besides if there is ever a zombie apocalypse and we need to have clean drinking water I am going to be really pissed if in the midst of a de-clutter frenzy I tossed those damn filters.

So I am keeping the filters.  I suck at decluttering!

Things rapidly got worse though.  Turns out I am a total hoarder.  Don’t believe me?  Look at this…

Yeah, that’s right.  It must clearly own two houses except I don’t.  At least this proves I am brand loyal.

And then I made my most shameful discovery…

I have a Resolve problem.  Dear god looking at this you would think I own an incontinent zoo.  I do have two spiteful cats, and yes when my husband moved in they expressed their distaste for their new roommate by crapping on the carpet, but those accidents surely do not necessitate FIVE bottles of carpet cleaner!

After a bit of organization and tossing here are my results.

It looks pretty, and on the plus side it seems I will not have to buy any more cleaning products for the next ten years or so.