Sorry, So Sorry

I have a sorry problem.  Recently a friend pointed out to me that I say sorry entirely too much.  It’s bad.   Really bad.  I know because I even hear myself saying sorry constantly, and I realize it sounds crazy, but I can’t help myself.  It’s a tic.  I am compelled to spout out the word sorry.  I feel like I can’t breathe again until is say it.  I am to the word sorry as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory is to knocking on the door three times.

The worst part is how inappropriately I use sorry.  Someone will point out how they screwed up and I say sorry.  As if it is my fault they fucked up.  I apologize to them despite having nothing to do with the situation.  People find this offensive, but I can’t help it.  I genuinely feel sorry they screwed up, so of course I say sorry.

It gets worse too.  If someone physically runs into me with their cart at the grocery store, I say sorry.  Yup.  That’s right.  They run into me and I apologize for it.  As if I am sorry for my mere existence, for if I didn’t exist they wouldn’t have had the misfortune to run into me.

I even apologize when I do something commendable.  Sorry, but I went ahead and finished that paperwork for you.  Dear god it makes no sense. I am obliged to always say sorry.

I’m sure some psychologist somewhere would tell me it is because I don’t value myself as a human, and I do not feel worthy to walk the earth so I must constantly apologize for being alive.  This is true occasionally for sure.  Who doesn’t struggle with self esteem?  However I believe the real reason, or at least the slightly less depressing one, is that I must clearly be secretly Canadian.  Ohh gee, sorry to break it to ya, but it’s the truth.  I bet I was actually adopted from a nice Canadian family, and all those stories about the day I was born are actually fabricated for my protection…sorry.

One thought on “Sorry, So Sorry”

  1. I don’t see you saying sorry too much. In fact, when you do I think it’s because you value others. Not at the expense of yourself but because you find others important. Also, I see you saying sorry to identify with others. When they experience something and you say I’m sorry, it’s because you can feel what they are going through. In this you are validating their feelings and experience. Don’t stress about it. You’re the best!

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