Damn-it! Just when I thought I had everything figured out with my wine diet things have begun to go terribly-terribly wrong.
I have always been allergic to sulfa. Generally this only poses a problem when being prescribed anti-malaria drugs and when drinking. I mean not when drinking water just when derrrinkin’. It seems sulfa is used in the bottling process of alcohol. At least that is what I have been told.
Usually when I have a reaction I just get really oddly pressure sensitive redness on my face. So if I brush my face with my hand or something I get a fiery-burning line of red on anywhere I touched. Yeah it’s weird. I often have odd streaks across my forehead while I try to be cool and mingle with a martini, which causes people to stare at me blankly. Then I get too busy staring at them staring at me and I forget what I am talking about and start to babble about my cats’ pooping habits or something. It is not pretty any way you look at it.
My husband calls my face technicolor. It reminds him of those hypercolor t-shirts from the 1990’s that changed colors with body heat. The ones my sister and I used our own hands on ourselves to make it look like when had been child molested.
Anyway I digress, you might wonder why someone with this reaction would choose a wine diet. To which my answer would be that I don’t let that allergy shit bring be down, I power through!
Until last night.
Ugh! It is all fun and games until your diet decides to try to kill you. I guess this means red wine and I are no longer friends. That will be my excuse next time my doctor chastises me for my weight… I wouldn’t be so damn fat if red wine hadn’t tried to kill me, you jerk!